How do I put this in order to not be misunderstood and flooded with either pity-messages or insults – let me try the blunt way: I love being alone. The older I got, the more I appreciate my B-time. Or, me-time. When, only months ago, feeling restless and on the edge of missing out on the coolest stuff ever, whenever I was left stranded at home instead of joining some (maybe not even existent?) happening, I couldn’t care less nowadays. On the one hand it is trust in my friends – if something cool was happening, they surely would have notified me already –, on the other hand it’s self-appreciation. Without alone time one cannot fully appreciate time with others, either.
Sometimes I enjoy being alone throughout every daily situation so much that I wonder whether it will ever be possible to re-adjust, should this long due prince on his (apparently super slow) white horse come by finally. I guess it will be, as usual, just a matter of habit. At least that’s what I try to tell myself. Of course I am not immune to feeling lonely now and then. But out of experience and based on my extraordinarily sharp observation skills I claim that being in a relationship is not the all-time remedy against that, either.
So let’s recap: Being alone can be fun. You get used to your own habits and ways of dealing with things. And living alone, even more so! If I should ever move in with someone again – the odds are very low – we need at least an East and a West wing to spend some apart-time as well. Or maybe a neighbouring house, instead…? It can be quite awesome to have no one to ask for when you want to travel somewhere, or move somewhere, or do something, or watch something – yes, I know it’s all about compromises. But it’s also nice to just do whatever the heck you want for a while.
This is what I thought until today. Being in my own little B-bubble, all happy and safe and cheerful, I tried to put on my new dress. I jumped and bent and stretched and twisted – and it remained impossible to close the stupid zipper on the back. Why on earth would they produce clothes that you are unable to put on all by yourself? I thought the times when I needed assistance to get dressed are long gone since I learned to tie my shoelaces five years ago!
While biking to work with a half-open dress, hoping for any of my female colleagues to be there already, I wondered if there is anything men could not do by themselves without assistance. Except for the obvious like vacuum-cleaning also the corners of a room, or ironing a shirt without burning it, I mean. Just kidding, I know you only pretend to not be able to do that so that someone else takes over!
Here I am, all independent and happy about being alone, shattered in my beliefs by such a simple thing. I drill holes in walls and fix bike and change car tires, I clean and slowly learn how to cook – and then I suffer a setback by my own, very feminine clothes. But, where there is a problem there is a solution. More yoga lessons it is for me – and then I can finally take this dress off again.