Settling or Dating Up?

redA very interesting piece of news was released this week: George Clooney got married. While the majority of media discussed it in the anticipated way, namely that he, the convinced bachelor, is now caught in the chains of marriage, one online magazine took a totally different approach: The actor was hardly worth mentioning, it was rather the woman, Amal Alamuddin, who catches the attention. And for a number of very good reasons: She is pretty, successful, extremely smart and active in several charity organizations additionally to her main job (attorney). So, what did George Clooney do in his life? A bunch of movies (which is his job, actually, so no biggie), and he got more handsome with aging. Nothing that could be particularly derived from any special skills – he was probably just lucky.

Because valuing two complete strangers is admittedly not fair for either of them, let me broaden this approach a little bit. I recently watched some videos on a social experiment: a blind date from Tinder turned out significantly bigger than expected. The basic situation was the same for both male and female experiment-victims, while the outcome couldn’t be more different: When meeting the “fat” girl, all the guys were reacting incredibly rude. One of them didn’t even sit down but instead told her that he finds it extremely outrageous that she lied to him. When the (all very fit) girls met the potentially fat guy, however, they showed a slight surprise, but stuck to their good manners nevertheless. And were up for a second date regardless of the guy’s heavy weight, and his (far more essential, I think) outstanding rudeness.

What do we learn from that? Girls are nicer than guys and have better manners and both genders like it like that.

pinkWhy? Why do women have to be extremely beautiful, perfectly in shape, smart, funny, just the right amount of caring, successful, independent and dependent, and have a lot of extra achievements in order to deserve a mediocre guy? While guys on the other hand can just lean back and pick, as soon as they fulfill the minimum requirements, such as a frequent shower and avoidance of domestic violence. The answer to this admittedly exaggerated question is simple: Because the girls blossom in this role.

Honestly, girls, let’s just go back to the Tinder experiment: Why are there even girls on Tinder? It’s an app for easy sex. Anyone who claims otherwise is just fooling themselves. Based on a simple picture (that could depict anyone, by the way), people are chosen or excluded. Character and personality matter tertiary at most. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that there are no girls looking for exactly that – but let’s stay rational: Do we need an app for that? Isn’t it enough to put on some nice dress and perfume and go to the clubs, and then just wait? Usually yes. So why do we expose ourselves like that, offering ourselves like discounted goods on winter sales, and all that the guys have to do is sweeping their thumb to the left or right? We are diminishing our own value. In a club, the guy at least has to have the guts to come and talk to us. If he can’t even do that… Well, you know what I mean.

The “fat” girl as well as the female experiment-victims were all in the same role: They wanted to be chosen. The alpha-humans were the guys, they were the ones to choose. If we valued ourselves just a little more, this could not even happen. Have we forgotten all the intuitive, female characteristics that make men woo and fight for us?

blueOne of my male friends once told a story: He met a girl in a club, and after some fooling around, he wanted to take her home – and she said no. His reaction to that, when he told the story: “What did she think? She wasn’t even that pretty. It should have been an honor for her that I asked her!”

Not even worth a comment, but let’s conclude: Having meaningless sex is totally ok. But people should respect each other. Such an opinion shows that the guy had absolutely no respect for that girl; the most he saw in her was her genitals. As long as we offer ourselves like exactly that (the genitals we possess), it will never change. Only if we value ourselves we can have other people value us. And stay away from jerks, ‘cause they will probably never value anyone else but their own image.

And to round up my word-of-the-week, and honor my honesty: Yes, I know that also George Clooney has been active in some charity stuff. But that was absolutely not the point here.

 

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2 Responses to Settling or Dating Up?

  1. Pingback: Settling or Dating Up? | TinderNews

  2. Pingback: Hinder Tinder! | B approved

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